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January 6, 2009:
I can do this. Leaving work today, I felt like a zombie – just going thru the motions. Get on the bus, get the car, drive home…..My mind is screwed up anymore, I can’t concentrate at work or think at all.
This log is not detailed. It is only for confidence to do this. The future holds even less than what I have today.
It is 6:40pm, about hour and a half to go. God have mercy. I wish life could be better for all and the crazy world can somehow run smoother. I wish I had answers. Bye.

It is 8:45PM: I chickened out! Shit! I brought the loaded guns, everything. Hell!

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You should know that I don’t really fuck around with black girls because I rarely run into any. They’re tugging on their friends because you are in a superficial club and to be honest, they probably don’t see you as a guy in their league. As for dealing with friends, I’ve said this time and time and time again: if the friends don’t respect you, then you won’t get the girl. In other words, you need to acknowledge the friends and just try to have a good time with them.