One evening when I had my focus group over for dinner, the woman on my left handed me a cell phone that had been making its way around the table. I hadn’t been paying much attention, so when I looked at the pic I couldn’t make out at first what I was seeing. It appeared to have a dark, bumpy foreground, with a tall purplish column.
I thought at first it was something from Zion National Park at dusk. I looked more closely in an attempt to decipher the large, shimmering blue object at the base of the column. Suddenly, my brain corrected the optical illusion, and I realized that the column was an erect penis. The bumpy foreground was pubic hair, and it had all been tied up in a satin bow.
Some douche named Joe had sent the pic to Kristin, and after laughing out loud at the grossness, she shared it so that we could all groan and recoil as a group. I nearly lost my dinner, which my guests found even more hilarious.
Why on earth would a guy think this is appealing? A guy who isn’t even your boyfriend? I wish she had videotaped our responses and sent them right back. These dudes must be stopped!
Who sends dic picks?
A study of texting and sexting among 744 college students determined that men with an Avoidant attachment style are the primary messengers of sexually explicit pics.
- Text messaging among relationship partners associated with secure attachment.
- “Sexting” associated with both attachment anxiety and avoidance.
- Attachment avoidance predicts unique variance in sexting. (sexual pics)
- Gender moderates relationship between attachment avoidance and sexting. (stronger for males)
“Whereas text messaging was more common among those with secure attachments (i.e., those with less attachment avoidance), sexting (both texts and pictures) was more common among those with insecure attachments, particularly those with higher attachment avoidance.
Whereas anxious attachment predicted variance in sending sex text messages only, attachment avoidance contributed unique variance in sending both sex texts and pictures. This relationship was moderated by gender-avoidant men were more likely than avoidant women to send sex text and picture messages to relationship partners.”
In other words, emotionally unavailable (and unintelligent?) men send dick pics. So is Joe of the gift-wrapped purple penis communicating in the only way he knows how? :-/
What else are these dicks up to?
Another study found that while 61% of students have engaged in sexting, students who have had unprotected sex were 4.5 times more likely to communicate this way and regular porn viewers 4 times more likely. Researchers also determined that sexting is most common among those who are ambivalent in their peer attachment style – in other words, people who do not form friendships easily.
Do these dicks have good personalities?
A third study looked at the personality factors correlated with the practice of sexting:
1. Females and those individuals in relationships indicated wanting more commitment to engage in sexting.
2. Extraversion and males predicted engaging in text-based sexting.
3. Neuroticism and disagreeableness predicted engaging in image-based sexting.
4. Sexting may appeal as a risky behavior for those individuals with personality traits towards high-risk activities.
Please note that all of this research was conducted with college undergrads. It is not meant to address the troubling dissemination of nude pics of middle and high school students.
Texting is the most prevalent means of communication between relationship partners when they’re apart. No doubt sexting is often harmless and fun between intimate partners. I can certainly imagine that it plays a role (along with Skype) in long-distance relationships.
But dicks look very strange in the context of a text message. And it’s not just dicks – one reader told me that after sending her bf a pic of her thigh over winter break, he asked if it was their Christmas ham.
A word of warning: Never send a sexual pic of yourself that includes your face or other identifying characteristic.
As for being on the receiving end of a dick pic, now you know what kinds of guys have them in their bag of tricks.
- Avoidant/emotionally unavailable, i.e. cad, douchebag
- Risk seeking, i.e. troublemaker
- Extraverted, i.e. “cock of the walk”
- Neurotic, i.e. f*ucked up
- Disagreeable, i.e. jerk, asshole
I’ve never been able to put the image of Joe’s purple pillar out of my mind. I can’t see a blue bow on a package without having a disturbing flashback. But I have to admit the 12 girls present thought it was gross in a hilarious way. So I’ll add one more trait to the list that describes these jokers: Clueless. Laughing is the best revenge.
Have you ever had a dick pic light up your phone? Seen one on someone else’s?